 | ||
| |
 The Bravura Newsletter provides valuable information that you can use to reach your music career goals and to help you gain a balanced and enjoyable life whilst working within the fast-paced Music Industry.
Fighting Times? Are you in a band and have recently been involved in 'fisticuffs' with the other band members? Are you an artist manager and found you have been at the receiving end of verbal abuse, and near physical abuse from your artist recently? Are you feeling so frustrated by your music and/or music career or the politics going on around you that you're no longer able to control yourself? Various bands that have suffered as a result of internal fighting. Some going on to split up, others being able to salvage their relationships and subsequently their bands. When I Googled 'bands internal fighting', the search came up with the following bands:
In addition to this list, The Police, The Who, The Clash and Oasis are also renowned for fighting and having internal tensions. The latest in this line up is Razorlight, with the NME Comment headlining an article with "Are Razorlight falling to pieces?" (17 Feb. 2007 edition, page 8) The article goes on to write about lead singer Johnny Borrell "squaring up to drunken bassist Carl Dalemo" onstage at the end of their gig in Lyon. And apparently this is currently par for the course. At one point in the article it states "…Borrell has achieved everything he has always strived for…he should be enjoying every second of his well-earned success." In lieu of this last quote, it's a crying shame then that any of the above bands have had to endure such tensions - especially as most of them have split up as a result! So, what are the cause(s) of these internal tensions? A multitude of things according to the articles you can read about them: tensions range from creative differences to drug and alcohol abuse, to not being able to cope with the pressures of touring, fame or having to come up with yet another killer album, to inflated ego's of specific band members (quite often the lead singer or the main song-writer!) to arguments with A&R as to which records will be released as singles on an album, to feeling the rest of the band are ganging up on you or familiarity breeding contempt - the list can go on and on. What is the impact of this behaviour? Quite a lot - not only can you alienate the rest of your band members, as well as risk really hurting each other emotionally and physically, but if you are letting these tensions be observed by your public - your fans and the press - then your behaviour will be publicly judged and usually in a derogatory manner. For instance, in the following week's NME Letters Page (24 Feb. 2007 edition, page 16), Razorlight fans or otherwise (!) state that '"I doubt that this business in Lyon will be the last of him [Johnny Borrell] throwing a big girly strop and taking out his petty anger on his poor bandmates. I actually feel sorry for his fellow colleagues because they have to hang around with such a massive chump. Why not ditch the loser and become a trio?" Danny, Doncaster.' This is damnation indeed for a band that has been so popular over the last 3 years and especially as there are varying reports of what actually happened. Okay, so what can you do if you are also feeling this bad that you are arguing or even fighting with your bandmates or others close to you in your music career? Or maybe you are at the receiving end of a fellow bandmate's anger and frustration. Using the following 4 Tips may be able to help you get through or resolve these internal tensions. Tip 1 - What's actually happening? If you are being shouted at, it can be a natural response to shout back as it triggers an emotional response in us. However by doing this you don't solve the issue, just increase the tensions. What will help you, is to observe what is being said, without judging or blaming the person who is shouting, and without misinterpreting what you think is being said. For instance your bandmate may shout at you: "You've still not got that guitar riff sorted yet!" you might interpret this as "you're a crap guitar player". As you see there is a world of difference between these two statements - but I hope you can also see how the last statement could spark off an emotional response and create those tensions. So, in a tense situation, always listen carefully for what is really being said by the other person. Tip 2 - Check out your feelings How do you feel when your band mate is shouting at you? Try to describe your answers without making out that anyone else is to blame for your feelings. For instance you may feel anger, anxiety or frustrated when your fellow band mate shouted at you - these are healthy emotions. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own feelings and not blame someone else for them. You have a choice about whether to react or not, so using words to describe your feelings such as: unappreciated, misunderstood or rejected aren't always helpful as they can be seen as blaming other people for your reaction thus giving that other person power over your emotions. So take responsibility for your feelings. Tip 3 - Somebody needs something What do you need at this moment to improve this situation? Your band mate has shouted at you and you are feeling angry or hurt, clearly you need something to make this situation better, otherwise you wouldn't be feeling those strong emotions. Going back to the guitar riff scenario, you may need the fellow bandmate to show you the riff once more for you to 'get it right'. Alternatively you may need to create some space in your schedule to practice that guitar riff so you can play it perfectly. Whatever you need to improve this situation, it is necessary to state clearly what your needs are - not only to yourself, but to your fellow bandmate. Which takes us neatly onto Tip 4! Tip 4 - Making requests It is really important when you know your needs to ask others for help, or make requests in a positive way and not in a demanding manner. If you make a demand of your fellow bandmate, For instance if you said, "show me the damn riff again then" in response to his shouting at you, you are likely to get a negative response! However, if you were to request that he show you the guitar riff in a more positive manner, he is more likely to respond well to you and with some empathy. For instance, you could say something like "Yeah, I seem to lose the riff half way through, can you show me again so I can get it right?" You can usually tell if your request has been taken positively by the way your fellow bandmate responds - if he continues to shout or criticize you, then he has taken it as a demand. If he calms down and shows you empathy, then you have made a positive request.
His Nonviolent Communication is incredibly helpful in conflict resolution. I just hope that Johnny Borrell and the other members of Razorlight are able to sort out their unmet needs to continue creating great music and to finally enjoy their successes. And of course I hope that you too are able to continue your own music career successes and hopefully without any internal tensions. If however you are still having difficulty, please drop me an email to arrange a free consultation call when we can discuss your unmet needs and any internal tensions these are creating. So, are you still fighting? With very best wishes,  Bravura Group helping you brave the music industry http://www.bravura-group.com t: 01246 231 249 / 0845 456 460 e: lindsey@bravura-group.com I work with signed and unsigned artists and personnel working in the Music Industry who want to become more productive, creative and ultimately more successful in their music careers, whilst enjoying a more enriched, fulfilling and balanced personal life. If you have received this copy of the Bravura newsletter from a friend or colleague and would like to receive future copies, please visit www.bravura-group.com to subscribe. Thank you. |
|